


take a chance

by mysoulrunswithwolves



Series: flames on my skin [4]
Category: EXO (Band), SHINee
Genre: Alternate Universe - Idols, Alternate Universe - Non-Famous, Developing Relationship, Kissing, Light Angst, M/M, driveby mention of taohun
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-21
Updated: 2018-12-21
Packaged: 2019-09-24 00:34:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,474
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17090735
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mysoulrunswithwolves/pseuds/mysoulrunswithwolves
Summary: Jongin hadn’t realized how much worse he’d made his life by asking Taemin to give him a chance. Now that he knew that his desire was returned, it seemed like it had tripled, and he couldn’t help but crave Taemin’s arms around him, his lips against his.Which made every dance practice a nightmare.





	take a chance

Jongin hadn’t realized how much worse he’d made his life by asking Taemin to give him a chance. Now that he knew that his desire was returned, it seemed like it had tripled, and he couldn’t help but crave Taemin’s arms around him, his lips against his.

Which made every dance practice a nightmare.

The things he’d been feeling a week ago when he was waiting for Taemin to make a move had only returned full-force and watching Taemin dance now was like his own special kind of hell. And Taemin wasn’t helping.

Actually, Taemin wasn’t really acknowledging him at all.  

He’d started smirking at himself in the mirrors as they danced, though, adding little flourishes and movements that only Jongin seemed to notice that highlighted the movements of his hips, or the smooth planes of his chest as he ran his hands down his body. Despite never once looking Jongin’s way, it felt like he was _teasing_ Jongin, and he didn’t know if that’s what was actually happening or if it was wishful thinking.

Outside of dance practice, Jongin didn’t see Taemin at all. He hadn’t really expected to, but their conversation in the vocal room had been last week and Jongin hadn’t said much more than hi to Taemin when he rushed in for practice.

He was always rushing somewhere, it seemed.

“Are you stressing about your idol crush again?” Sehun asked, tossing one of their throw pillows at him as they stretched on the floor together.

Jongin looked up from his knees, sitting up out of his forward fold to roll his eyes at Sehun. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Sehun snorted and rolled forward into his middle splits, groaning at the stretch. “Don’t insult my intelligence, Jongin. We’ve been friends for years now, I know when you’re stewing.”

Jongin stretched forward in a straddle, laying his chest on the ground. “I’m not _stewing._ I’m trying to figure out what I should do.”

Sehun waved a hand dismissively, rotating to his right split. “Nuance. My question still stands, though. What’s got you worried.”

Jongin sighed, then figured if he was going to talk to anyone, Sehun was the best choice. “We talked, and that went well, but I’ve barely had any time to talk to him since.”

“That makes sense, though, since he’s an idol.”

“Right, I know. What I don’t know is if it’s going to bother him to get texts from me asking to meet up.”

Sehun shrugged. “If it were me, I’d just go for it. If you know he likes you back, I don’t think there’s much harm in reminding him you like him enough to want to see him.”

“Yeah, I know.”

“Then what are you waiting for?” Sehun gave him an exasperated look. “Honestly, Jongin. Just text the guy.”

Jongin stretched over his leg to grab his phone, opening up the few messages he’d exchanged with Taemin. He hadn’t renamed him in his phone yet, but he didn’t really plan on it. It seemed safer, at any rate.

 _Hey,_ he texted. _Can I see you?_

_Now?_

The reply came almost instantly, and Jongin didn’t have to look up to know that Sehun was smirking at him, the smug bastard.

_I mean, not necessarily. I was speaking in more general terms_

_That’s good. I was just about to go to bed. My schedule is pretty...hectic this week. I can try and find some time though_

_That’s okay, I can wait. But I do want to see you soon_

_...I’ll keep you posted. Things can often change quickly in my life_

_Okay. Sleep well_

“Well?” Sehun asked as he locked his phone and set it aside.

Jongin made a face. “He said he was really busy this week, but I wasn’t really expecting him to be free immediately.”

Sehun held out his arms so Jongin could pull him forward to stretch through his straddle position. “Better than nothing. It was worth a shot.”

Jongin hummed in agreement, and they fell silent as they finished up stretching for the night.

 

By the end of the week, Taemin was looking downright haggard. He showed up to most of the dance practices, but he was always sleepy when he did, and Jongin even caught him stumbling over choreography that he’d known for weeks at one point. It was painfully obvious that Taemin was _exhausted,_ but there was nothing he could do.

Well, there was something he could do.

“Is this going to be our thing now?” Taemin asked, stumbling into the vocal room after him when Jongin had snagged him in the hallway. “It shouldn’t; we might get caught.”

Up close, the circles under Taemin’s eyes were more obvious than usual. “Are you okay?” Jongin asked, cupping Taemin’s heart-shaped face in his hands. “You look exhausted.”

“You sure know how to sweet-talk a guy.”

“I’m serious, Taemin. Are you okay?”

Taemin gently pulled his hands away from his face. “Yeah, I’ve had worse weeks. But I’m still doing occasional promotions, and awards season is coming up which means extra dance sessions, not to mention the variety shows they keep scheduling me for.”

Jongin didn’t know what to do. He tangled his fingers with Taemin’s, letting them hang between them. “What do you need, Taemin?”

“Besides a full ten hours of uninterrupted sleep?” Taemin shook his head, laughing softly. “There’s not much you can do for me.”

Jongin gathered Taemin up in his arms, holding him close and allowing him to rest most of his weight on Jongin. “Does this help?”

“It certainly doesn’t hurt,” Taemin replied, talking into his shirt. “Thanks.”

Jongin pressed a gentle kiss to the side of his head, still a little in awe that he could just...kiss Taemin now. They hadn’t bothered to talk about what they were, really, but that didn’t bother Jongin. He wanted to take things slow. Taemin’s career was a lot to consider, and he didn’t want to push Taemin beyond what he was willing to give. Not when everyone else in his life seemed to want so much from him all the time.

“Anything else I can do?” Jongin asked after a long time of holding Taemin in his arms.

Taemin clung a little tighter before stepping back, studying Jongin thoughtfully. “I’m way too busy to do anything this week, but maybe this weekend you could come over for a few hours? I won’t be up for much, and I’ll probably fall asleep, but if you have time...” he trailed off, biting his lip.

“Are you sure you want me over at your place? I don’t want to intrude on your space. You can come over to mine, if it would be more comfortable for you.”

Taemin hugged him again, tightly. “Thank you for offering.”

Jongin wound his arms around Taemin’s waist. “I don’t want to push you past what you’re not comfortable with. We can move slow.”

“Then I think I’d rather come over to yours, this time.”

“Of course, no problem.” Jongin would have to make sure Sehun was out when Taemin came over, or stayed in his room at the very least. “When do you want to come?”

“Can I text you? I’ll have a better idea of when I’ll be free the closer the weekend gets.”

“Sure.” Jongin pressed a kiss to his forehead. “I’m sure you’re supposed to be somewhere else right now. I’ll let you go.”

Taemin placed a hand on his cheek. “Thank you for giving me this short break. I needed it more than you probably know.”

“Anytime,” Jongin replied, and watched as Taemin slipped from his arms and out the door.

 

Jongin answered the door and almost didn’t recognize Taemin. He was wearing all black again. This time in soft looking long-sleeved shirt and sweatpants, a black baseball cap pulled low over his eyes and mask firmly in place. But Jongin knew those eyes. He’d know them anywhere.

He looked, if possible, even more tired than he had earlier in the week. Jongin had told him countless times that he could wait, but Taemin had been determined to do something tonight, even if it was just watching TV mindlessly.

“Are you going to let me in? Or were you planning on standing there all night and getting us caught by my fans?”

Jongin stepped aside and Taemin slipped past him and into his apartment. “Keep your voice low, my roommate is home,” Jongin warned, shutting the door quietly.

“What?”

When he turned around, Taemin’s eyes were wide above his mask, what little Jongin could see of his face pale. “It’s okay, he’ll stay in his room, but we should get you to mine so you can relax.”

Taemin hissed, “I can’t believe you didn’t tell me you had a roommate! It changes everything!”

Jongin pulled him quickly through the apartment and into his room, shutting the door behind them and coaxing Taemin’s mask off his face to reveal a frowning mouth under worried eyes. “Sehun isn’t going to say anything. He doesn’t care. I promise, you’re safe here. You’re always safe with me.”

“Does he know who I am?” Taemin asked, his voice hard. He yanked his baseball cap off his head, tossing it somewhere on Jongin’s bed. “Jongin, did you tell him who I am?”

“No, he doesn’t know.” He figured it would be a bad time to mention that Sehun _did_ know he was seeing an idol from the company he worked for.

Taemin held his gaze for another long, tense moment, before slumping into Jongin. “Okay. I’m sorry.” He sighed as Jongin wrapped his arms around him, swaying him gently as they hugged. “I’ve spent so long being careful. I can’t let how much I like you make me reckless.”

Jongin held him for another moment, feeling Taemin relax more and more the longer he held him, “You like me?”

Taemin snorted softly. “No, I always risk my _entire_ career to meet a cute guy I kissed _once_ in a moment of weakness at yet another club, where I let him kiss me yet again.”

“A simple yes would have sufficed.”

Taemin leaned back and finally smiled at him. “Ah, but where would be the fun in that?”

Jongin rolled his eyes, a helpless sort of fond smile tugging at his lips, and tugged Taemin over to his bed. His bed took up one corner of his room, the corner opposite taken up by his desk and computer. He had two screens, one quite large, usually so he could play video games from his bed when he didn’t feel like studying.

But tonight, he pulled up a variety show on Netflix that neither of them would have to pay much attention to. “Come on,” he urged, tugging Taemin down next to him, cuddling him close and arranging them both comfortably on the bed.

“This isn’t too much, is it?” Taemin murmured hesitantly as he rested his head on Jongin’s chest, their ankles tangled and one of his arms around Jongin’s waist.

“No, not at all.” Jongin had a sneaking suspicion that nothing would ever be too much when it came to Taemin. They weren’t even really dating, but he already wanted more of Taemin. He wanted to learn what made him laugh hardest, what made him smile, _everything._

But for now, this was enough.

Taemin sprawled across his chest as they watched variety shows, gradually relaxing more and more and commenting less as the show went on. It was quiet in his room, volume turned down low, and he wasn’t certain that Taemin was still awake.

He ran his fingers through Taemin’s hair, watching the strands feather through his fingers, and smiling when he felt Taemin’s arm tighten around his waist as he shifted closer.

“I thought you’d fallen asleep.”

Taemin hummed, arching against him in a stretch. Jongin failed to ignore the way Taemin’s body shifted and rubbed over his own. “I almost did. You’re very warm.”

Jongin wrapped his arms around Taemin tightly, holding him close. “You’ve had a busy week, I wouldn’t blame you if you did.”

“I have a busy _life._ This week was just crazier than others.”

“What do you have going on right now?” Jongin asked, hoping it wasn’t a stupid question. If he were to be completely honest, he wasn’t all that sure what idols actually _did_ besides their music and dancing. He’d never really _cared._ But he cared about Taemin a frightening amount.

“Awards season is coming up,” Taemin explained, leaning up and resting his chin on Jongin’s sternum to look at him while he talked. He blinked slowly, his eyelids heavy with fatigue. “And this year I’m doing a really long performance, all solo, and it’s a lot to prepare for.”

Jongin ran his thumb over Taemin’s cheekbone, stroking the soft skin there. “I’ve seen you dance. You’re going to be amazing.”

“This is the first night in nearly two weeks where I’ve had actual time to do anything besides work. I’m not worried about the performance, I’m worried about _making_ it to the performance.”

Jongin suddenly felt incredibly guilty. He’d been the one to push for time with Taemin, time he clearly didn’t have much of, and instead of doing something like sleeping, he’d agreed to spend time with Jongin. “You shouldn’t have come over tonight,” Jongin said softly, squeezing Taemin’s waist with the arm he had around him. “You should be sleeping, getting what rest you can.”

Taemin blinked slowly. “I’m always tired, though. It’s just part of being an idol.” He yawned, a huge, jaw-popping thing. “Plus, I’ve got my first solo tour coming up—which you’ll be a part of—and that’s going to be very stressful and exhausting to prepare for.”

Jongin hadn’t even thought that far ahead. “Sounds like we’ll be seeing a lot of each other.”

“Well, yeah. You’re one of my backup dancers.” Taemin licked his lips, and it was stupid that such an innocuous action made the tension simmer in the room. Jongin held his gaze and watched as Taemin’s pupils dilated slightly in the dim light.

“Come’re,” Jongin murmured, pulling Taemin up and to his lips by his jaw, relaxing as their lips slotted together.

Taemin shifted to hover over him more, and he sucked on Jongin’s bottom lip for a long moment before licking at his top lip, tracing the outline of his lips with his tongue.

Jongin opened easily for him, sighing as the kiss deepened. Taemin’s hands found their way into his hair, and Jongin rolled them over, slotting a leg between Taemin’s as he chased after the taste of Taemin, learning the shape of his mouth and running his tongue behind his teeth, not surprised when Taemin nipped at the tip of his tongue.  

He groaned when Taemin tugged at his hair, sliding an arm under Taemin to pull them closer, heat coursing through him as Taemin arched into him.

There was a knock at his bedroom door, and Taemin went as still as stone.

“Yeah?” Jongin called, over his shoulder. Even if Sehun peeked in, all he’d see was Taemin obscured by Jongin’s shoulders. He wasn’t worried, but he could feel the tension in Taemin’s body.

“Sorry to bother you Nini,” Sehun said through the door, “but I wanted you to know I’m going out with Tao, and not to wait up.”

“Okay, thanks Hun.” The sound of Sehun turning and walking away from the door grew distant, and Jongin could feel Taemin begin to relax under him.

“Nini?”

“It’s a nickname. Sehun picked it up from my family, it’s what they call me.” He tried to kiss Taemin again, but he was unresponsive under him. “Hey, what’s wrong?” he asked, pulling back.

Without warning, Taemin flipped Jongin back onto his back, sitting on his stomach. “I think we need to create some ground rules, if this is going to work,” Taemin began, leveling Jongin with a very serious look.

“Um, sure okay.” Jongin rested his hands on Taemin’s thighs, squeezing gently. “Like what?”

“No more kissing me at work.” Taemin cut him off before he could protest when he opened his mouth to do so. “I _can’t_ risk anyone seeing us, and honestly you could be fired for having a relationship with me.”

Jongin closed his mouth, unease beginning to crawl up his spine. He hadn’t even thought about the consequences of working with Taemin every day, and he was beginning to realize, rather abruptly, that he didn’t know anything about Taemin’s life.

“I also think it would be a good idea if we didn’t touch at all during dance practices.”

Jongin’s hands tightened in reflex on Taemin’s thighs. “What?”

Taemin bit his lip, twisting his fingers together. “I don’t know about you, but I can be really obvious when I like someone, so I need you to stay away from me in public.”

“You’re making me nervous.” Jongin played with the hem of Taemin’s shirt absently.

Taemin’s expression softened, and he leaned down until their chests were flush, hugging Jongin. “This is part of the reason why I never wanted you to know who I am.” He nosed at Jongin’s cheek. “My life is complicated and busy, and I’m under constant scrutiny. I’m a perfectionist about my dancing and my fans feel like they’re entitled to every aspect of my life. I love being an idol, but I sacrifice a lot, and the biggest sacrifices are usually my personal relationships.

“A relationship with me means secrecy, caution, and very few times when we’ll actually get to be alone together.” He leaned back slightly, studying Jongin carefully. “Knowing all this, do you still want to pursue something with me?”

Jongin didn’t answer right away. He mulled over what Taemin had said, thinking carefully. He was just beginning to understand that while _he_ didn’t care that Taemin was an idol, the rest of the world certainly did. But he also thought about the way it felt to have Taemin in his arms, how perfectly his lips slotted between his own, how synched they were when they danced together. He’d dated other people before, but there was nothing that compared to the way he felt connected to Taemin after a few encounters.

He remembered Sehun's advice, to be honest and upfront before things could get muddled, and thought quickly about what he wanted, and how he was going to express it.

“I think,” he started, finding Taemin’s eyes. They were guarded, braced for rejection, and Jongin wondered how many times Taemin had done this, only to be rejected because his life was too complicated. “I think that you’re worth all the risk, all the complications and difficulties.” Taemin hid his face in Jongin’s chest. “I’ve never wanted someone like I want you, and I’d rather be with you and deal with the challenges as they come than say no and watch you dance every day, only to wonder what I’m missing out on.”

Taemin gripped his shoulders tightly, and Jongin wrapped his arms around Taemin’s back, holding him close, alarmed when Taemin began shuddering against him. Jongin gripped his face, lifting his head away from his chest so that he could look Taemin in the eyes. His watery, tear-filled eyes. “Hey, what’s wrong?”

Taemin sniffed and visibly yanked his composure back in place. “I’m very tired, and clearly emotional, and what you said was really, really nice to hear.”  He closed his eyes and leaned into Jongin’s touch, biting his lip. “People don’t usually want to deal with my career,” he explained, rubbing at his eyes. “I’m used to it, though. I chose this life.”

“You should be able to fall in love, Taemin, regardless of what life you chose.”

Taemin smiled at him thinly, his expression tinged with sadness, before he leaned down and kissed Jongin softly. “Thank you, Jongin.” He kissed him again, deeper, and Jongin went with it, sinking his fingers into Taemin’s hair and keeping him close.

“Give me a chance,” Jongin repeated, echoing his word from over a week ago. He sucked on Taemin’s full lower lip, tugging gently to hear him whimper softly. “Let me like you.”

He could feel Taemin’s smile against his lips before he slipped his tongue between his lips, silky and smooth and _tender,_ somehow.

Jongin rolled them onto their sides, keeping Taemin close and tangling their legs. He didn’t remember falling asleep, but his last conscious thought was of how good Taemin’s lips felt against his, how easily their bodies fit together, and he drifted.

 

When he woke in the morning Taemin was gone, the sheet cold where he’d been, and Jongin accepted that it was going to be like that. But waking up alone was worth it if that meant he got to be with Taemin.

It was worth everything.

**Author's Note:**

> kudos and comments appreciated! spiral into taekai hell with me uwu
> 
> Find me on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/_xKikix)


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